Saturday, May 31, 2008


I saw the clouds it was dark.. I saw it coming... I wished to talk but i couldn't...god forgive me for the sin :-( .. I wished to see a face with smile... but i couldn't..god forgive me for the sin :-( ... a drop of tear rolled on my cheek ...but rain drops took care no one noticed..

Here i have fallen down.. i lift my head to see for help.. i see few faces with advice, few faces who curse me, few faces who smile.. and few faces with lost hope ..I see it coming.. never wanted to see it... now i stand to face it.. i am in the middle of a road completely drenched in rain.. wat next?

I didn't understand what i am doing? But i was right, that i was wrong... people whom i wished would help pulled their hands back in the time of need... i understand i am standing alone drenched in rain :-( i understand this is the beginning :-(

But my spirits want me to get up and walk...

Monday, May 26, 2008

Hero Pen

Yesterday i was searching for something in my draw in my home and all of a sudden i found a hero pen . Well i remembered a childhood incident of mine when i saw this pen.. probably i was in 6th std and i had a passion for hero pen.. and i wanted to have one for myself... but that was a time when my parents were in crunch of a situation constructing our house and the financial status of the family was very tight...

Now i wonder Rs.25 was so valued during the period that i had to receive so much of beating from my father that day... i remember having been beaten so much for demanding the pen immediately... i wounder even though i was used to get beaten every now and then certain moments always remains in your mind as a child.. I remember at that moment probably i never understood the situation and i was in my own world.. dreaming for the pen.. and the beating had shattered my desires...

Well my father did understand my feelings probably he had brought me a new hero pen the next day.. well well this was valued treasure for me :-) i was very happy and this pen was my lucky pen till my 12th.. i wrote every test, every exam, every notes with this pen :-) . As a child i was so much attached to the pen that i used to think i would do badly in my exams if i don't use this pen. Probably now i would be laughing at my belief of childhood :-)

I tried to search this pen yesterday and i didn't get it :-( i wondered, have i lost the feel i had in my childhood? Probably i have lost the value of a hero pen which was just Rs.25 but can i ever forgot the incident i was attached to, with the pen?

Friday, May 16, 2008


It was around 9pm, i came out of the hotel after a very heavy dinner.. it was a bit too much for dinner. I was walking towards my bike when all of a sudden a small kid stopped me begging...

What should i have done?

If i had given money probably i would have encouraged him for begging..and more over the fact is many a times the money we give is always snatched by their parents.. so i never encouraged giving money...

Should have asked him to earn his food? probably that would not be worth either... as i would be encouraging child labor in that case..

Could we have given some food to this kid? Many a times i had seen these kids are not that very fascinated of our food.Until they are really hungry..What actually matters to them is money!!

Well i don't know what i could have done, nothing struck to my mind at that point and i came back home... but one thing did strike to my mind that i did over eat a bit and probably i could have avoided it and probably it could have reached a hungry child's stomach :-(

Felt hunger is really very bad..

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Vote !! Does it matter?

Few don't belive they should vote, few don't understand the value of their vote, few just say how will their vote make a difference?
I was very dejected when the news read bangalore urban recorded the lowest turnout for the first phase of assembly elections only 44% franchised their vote . Also read an interesting article like neither the rich nor the middle class get affected by the outcome of the elections.Its always the poor who are interested in the elections and the promises made by the respective political parties..
I felt very bad meeting friends in my own office at least 7 of them, so called well educated people who had been cribbing all these days regarding the infrastructure, blaming governments for every opportunity they were given to speak :-) and when it mattered the most they just couldn't do what was required the most. Well felt like these are the kind of people who just speak without any idea of their actions... neither they are worth... Well what worse was the excuses you get to hear... Felt like these people have lost the right to speak about either of the government or any other issues in karnataka for at least 5 years from now :-). These are the people who wanna stay at this place, wanna use all the benefits of this place and just scrap it when its a mess...
Voting was a legitimate right of citizen who believes in democracy, a person who doesn't vote doesn't have the right to speak about the issues coming out of the democratic system...
Well hats off to the election commissioner for his outstanding work during the current election process were in there was no huge cutouts, no proxy votes and had seen very little corruption... amazing work... the least thing that was expected from educated people was to come out and vote... At least i hope to see better outcome for the 2nd and 3rd phase of elections.

Sunday, May 04, 2008


My parents wanted me to drive them to tumkur for annual rights (shrarddha) of my grandmother. Looking at the religious acts i wondered why should we do the same and what is the purpose of the same... well that thing drived me into knowing the facts of why? Well what better way than to dig into the books... As per Hindu mythology "Garuda Purana" also called the book of the dead is the one which tells exactly why and what has to be done...
After reading the book i was not very convinced since few of the facts in this book looks like a bit adulterated because i saw a bit of stress on the castes, these books are basically believed to be derivatives of the Vedas. However in Rigveda it clearly mentions that castes are based on your acts and so called Brahmana who doesn't stick to the acts of a Brahmana will be automatically demoted to shudra however even in this book at the end he does accept the fact that a a person cannot be bharmana by birth.. hence forth its clear that there is no caste by birth :-)
What astonished me reading this book was how can someone write anything imaginatory with such strong views. It exactly deals with issues connected with death, particularly funeral rites and the metaphysics of reincarnation. But what i felt which lacks in this book is the explanation as to why? It lacks the explanation as to why it has to be done..
Well but i should really accept the fact the way things has been explained... its horrifying, the cruelest things possible to man kind has been narrated... probably to bring in the fear of death.. in the common man to avoid doing anything bad :-) but its crazy to feel the horrifying facts explained.. well these were few interesting things which i found in this book and is considered wrong in the current day practices
1. If there is no son the wife, should perform the rights, and if no wife the brother; or a Brâhmiṇ's pupil or a proper kinsman should perform them. Well i have never seen any women doing the same :-)
2. A man or a woman who performs the rites for a friend, by this sacrament for the helpless departed, obtains the fruit of tens of millions of sacrifices. However we consider it very inauspicious to do these ceremonies :-)
3. Chapter 15 in this book explains about rebirth i was really astonished with the precession and the way they have explained about birth of a child. It tells everything about menstruation cycle of a women, perfect day to unite with man, food required for a good and healthy child, development of the various organs of the child inside the womb...everything, well well looking at this perfection of science i always end up in confusion how did they ever know these things?
Well to end with it doesn't look like everything is wrong but reading few of the chapters it gives a belief like a hidden science which is unexplored. Everything has a defined number like 10rice balls for the dead, relating the body to the 5 elements, 10-12-15-30 days of final rights,explaining the menustration cycle of women... many of these numbers looks like very mathematical this couldn't be sidelined as fake...but its interesting to understand and know what it means..